I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
