I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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