...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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