I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
