I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
