Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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