your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
