I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
