im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I could fuck to npr.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
