so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
