I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
