what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
