he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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