He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I understand Curling. That high.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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