I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
