It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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