Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize