Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
