Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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