No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
