I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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