He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
