Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
