I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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