The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize