Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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