it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
