i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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