Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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