A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
