I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
