Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
