Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
