Nicole vs. Life
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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