He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize