if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize