we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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