Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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