He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
