Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
