jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
