...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
