I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
