Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
