32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
