stop calling my apartment porn island.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
