One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
