fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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