i need an iv and a liver transplant
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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