Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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